Clay, our only son went to be with Jesus on December 21, 2018. He was 24 years old at the time. Clay was always for the underdog and had the biggest heart ever! Clay struggled with drug addiction for 7-8 years. I cannot be sure when it overtook him, but he fought a very very long and brave fight. Clay never met a stranger and loved well. His life theme was..."Friend of Love, any friend of love is a friend of mine". God saved Clay's life on earth so many times...I am sure Jesus intervened and decided enough is enough. I am very sure that Clay communicated, "momma, I didn't mean to...the morning we were told he was no longer with us". I so hope that those who need help with addiction will reach out through this program or email me and I will try to find support for recovery. There are programs that do not require insurance or help out there for those who have no means of payment. Please reach out. You are worth it! You Friend of Love. Cheryl

Hello, my name is Christina I'm 49 years old and realized that I was an addict at 23 years old. I became heavily addicted to Benzodiazepines for years and at 26 entered my first detox program. I thought it was over but it had just begun. From there my addiction spread to Opiates and basically anything that I could get my hands on. At 38 I went to my first 30 day inpatient program and unfortunately it was downhill from there. After the program I moved in with several other people who had attended the same program and the chaos began. I had never seen a street drug in my life except for weed but was quickly introduced to Heroin and Cocaine. My life as I knew it was over and I lost everything that I loved, my baby Daughter.When she was taken from me I used even more to numb the pain... By the Grace of God I was arrested and put on "First Offender Status" in Virginia. I then began taking Suboxone and my struggle with recovery began. I stopped the Heroin but COULDN'T GET OFF OF THE SUBOXONE to save my life. Finally in December 2016 I was put into a Psychiatric hospital and for 4 weeks I went through Hell from withdrawing. My situation is quite a struggle to this day because in October of 2017 after being clean for almost a year I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer with metastasis to my bones. I had a bilateral mastectomy and two other surgeries where I was given Opiates. Today I am in a lot of pain from the bone cancer and take two Opiates daily. My Palliative Medicine Doctor is very supportive and knows 100% of my addiction history. My 27 year old Daughter locks the medication away and dispenses it to me as prescribed daily... but it's a struggle to remain in recovery and have to take my drug of choice daily. I still have obsessive thoughts and cravings often. I find myself constantly thinking about when my next dose is and sometimes try to think of excuses to get more. I am completely open to any feedback or advice and will gladly answer my questions that anyone may have. Mostly I hope that my story helps someone to perhaps make better choices than I did, but I firmly believe that it is a disease and those of us that have it definitely have a burden to bare that normal people don't understand. On a positive note, my Baby Girl is 14 now and is back in my life and we have a wonderful loving relationship. Thank you for listening!

I found this website after I saw a promotion for the book, American Boy. Matt Megale sounded so much like our son, Alex. Alex was handsome, bright, engaging, and a lot of fun! He was a lacrosse stand out at his private high school, Loyola Blakefield in Towson, Maryland—a town where lacrosse ruled. He went from there to the University of Pennsylvania, where he played on their D1 lacrosse team. Little did we know then that addiction already had begun to take hold of our own American boy, when he was trying to find some relief from the demands he felt from being a student at an Ivy League school and a member of a Division 1 Lacrosse team. He dropped out in his sophomore year, and went into a rehab program. Over the next nine years, he had so many successes, including moving to Aspen, CO and working for the Aspen Ski Company while following his passion for Telemark skiing; working as a beloved coach for boys high school and club team lacrosse; he won lacrosse awards for First Team All American and Upper Midwest Lacrosse Conference Division 2 Defensive Player of the Year while he was a student and lacrosse team member at St. Thomas University in Minnesota. He competed in, and finished an Ironman race last September in Cambridge, MD. He had a great job as an outside sales rep for DiscoverOrg, a beautiful girlfriend, and a loving family. He was so loved by many, many friends, and he put everyone’s needs above his own. Sadly, all of this was not enough to save him from succumbing to the disease of addiction, and we lost him on May 4, 2019. He will be forever loved, and forever missed.

I wanna tell you a story about my brother… I was 4 1/2 when he was born. He was a beautiful newborn baby... even his picture from the hospital was perfect. I was so excited, my parents shared him and said he was “our baby”... I wanted to do everything for him, feed him, rock him, dress him and boy did I love him. I now had to share my "only child" spot light with my new baby brother. His Nick-Names were Adamy, Am, Amo, AM-EE, and YAM... He followed me everywhere. He loved to do anything to antagonize me as little brothers are required to do… Standing at the edge of my carpet of my bedroom and swear he wasn’t IN my room, Act like he was going to touch me but never actually making physical contact... (but I said that he did) Or running through my slumber parties naked just to make me scream!! He was brave...he would try any stunt outside on the trampoline or dirt bikes, had pet snakes that slithered out into our home on a few occasions....he didn’t mind getting dirty or injured and if he was in trouble, he would ask for a spanking so he could go back out and play instead of being sent to his room. It took a while till we grew out of the little kid fights... When Adam was about 15 and I was 20... he flew to Aspen, Colorado to visit me for a week. I remember that being the first time that we were away somewhere together without Mom and Dad and thoroughly enjoying having him there to spend time with... and sad to see him go. I always acted like another mom to him… probably tougher than our mom. He loved playing pool, riding street bikes, playing instruments, being on the water and he loved to dance. Adam was bright, kind, funny and trusting. However there is another side of his story that I would like to speak about today... he was approximately 20 when he was first introduced to drugs. It was with adult friends, people he knew and trusted. Some people can put it down and some people can’t... The drug use was sporadic and not as noticeable early on... After some time Adam had shoulder surgery with his first prescription of pain meds... he was hooked. It was easy to dismiss at first, we believed the pain that he had and need for medication. The lies started... needing money for this or that. Loss of cell phones, pawned jewelry, sold vehicles, and a utility trailer. Constant sickness whether it seemed like the worst case of the flu (which we now know as withdrawals), other sicknesses included a lung infection and open sores with staph infections, and kidney infections... we thought we would get a glimpse of sobriety but those were the times that he used a lessor amount to get by and function. The first time he went to rehab was amazing. He looked like a BRAND NEW person. He nearly sparkled! He came home for a short visit and I couldn’t wait to see him. I ran to him hugged him and didn’t want to let go... He was BACK to the Adam that I knew!!! After returning to rehab, He left on his own after a couple of months. He said he was good… We thought... GREAT, he’s fine!!! It didn’t take very long… a few weeks to be exact and the extra requests for money came through, constantly needing help because somehow the company he worked for forgot to deposit his check. I thought the birth of his son would have changed his whole world and it did... he loved him, only when he would actually FEEL real feelings of love, excitement and happiness... shame, worry, guilt and fear would set in... these types of feelings were too much, too intense… that’s when he would use... to forget everything. I couldn’t deal with it... but my parents fought hard to save him, to help him, to love him, to fight for him and to be there for him. It wasn’t easy... you see they aren’t themselves when they are high… the ugly comes out. You’re hoping that the fights, the mean harsh words are going to stop him in his tracks so that he won’t go back to it... The only conversations I ever held with my brother up until this year were fights of yelling at him and telling that he needed continuous help… not understanding why he CHOSE to do this... (I really had no clue) it was a deep addiction, an actual sickness. They can get clean but without continued help... there is something out there to keep reeling them back in... He cleaned up for a while and then relapse again and again over and over... at the end of last year, he detoxed on his own, started a great job and seemed to be doing well. For the first time in a LONG LONG time he seemed happy. I ran into my brother in at the mall this year... I walked up and surprised him. I acknowledged his efforts of working hard and staying clean and started reaching out more to try and get close to him. I decided maybe it’s time to be his sister again....I had forgotten how much we had in common, our laugh, sense of humor, and we LOVED mocking our parents to each other... He had a great impression of mom and my impression of my dad is pretty spot on too.... I was getting to know my brother again after many years... April 1st of this year he overdosed, we were told he wouldn’t make it through the night. By the time I was able to see him the next day the miracles started happening, he opened his eyes, he recognized voices, he would squeeze our hands when we asked him to, so there was hope. During the time he overdosed, my mother found him on the floor in a fetal position cutting the blood circulation off in his leg. After about 3 hours it caused irreversible damage and required the amputation of his left leg.. . His kidneys weren’t working properly, his heart was mimicking a heart attack and with other extreme concerns he wasn’t out of the woods... He received amazing care and developed wonderful relationships with the doctors and nurses at Orange Park Medical Center who helped bring him back to life. After 8 weeks in the hospital my brother came home. His biggest disappointment, he wished to have woken up out of a coma with a new singing voice. He was hoping to be on America's Got Talent or The Voice... I'm sure the nurses here today would agree, that didn't happen. He handled this new life better than we could have ever imagined. He was precious, funny, sweet, always ready to get out and do something. He enjoyed all of questions that little kids would have about his missing leg. He would think it was hilarious to catch someone starring at him and watch them try to play it off like they weren't looking in the first place. I hugged him and kissed him more than he would like to admit... I told him I loved him and how proud I was of him. He was still hiding a lot behind that smile... I could tell at times when he was in deep thought... he never truly expressed what was going on... he was pushing through in hopes of getting a prosthetic soon, getting back into counseling and hopefully getting a job. All the while something deeper was lurking and calling him back, tricking him into believing that it was the only answer. He wanted help, He didn’t WANT to get high. He hated it but that’s the part most of us will never understand. We lost him Sunday morning September 15th... we lost him to a substance that promised to numb the pain. He was only 39 years old. I lost part of me with him, my only sibling. My parents lost their only son. Now when I laugh sometimes it sounds like him and takes my breath away.. I cried at the nail salon the other day.... it reminded me that he wanted a pedicure and wondered if he would receive 1/2 price for one foot. I love him and miss him terribly... I have received so many messages from people that I’ve never met. Some telling me what an amazing friend he was during a difficult time, he saved lives by helping them get into rehab and are still sober today. So while we battled the storm, there was still goodness that he did send out into the world. When given the opportunity to help someone he was readily available. I know God saved his life so we could reconnect and get back to being brother and sister... so he could have quality time with our parents… but this war was bigger and I know God chose to take him home... and on his last day here on earth his hair was still in perfect place while I carefully kissed him and hugged him goodbye. Now that he is no longer here, I am once again the only child here on earth. My brother can share his spot light in heaven when I see him again. We have a video of photos.... and when choosing music for Adam... we picked through beautiful sad gut wrenching songs Some songs would probably make us all cry through the rest of the year. I have spared us all on that... Adam loved all types of music... he wouldn’t want sad songs played!! Years ago he played a song for me and he said “doesn’t this make you feel good, like you wanna turn over a new leaf?” I played it for him when he got out of the hospital and asked him the same question and he laughed and said “yes, yes it does”!! Adam my darling brother... You have turned over a new leaf... you are home, you are happy and you are whole again. I love you more than words, and I miss you so much it hurts.... I picked this song for you... "Island in the Sun" by Weezer